


The Oddity

by RiverTalesien



Series: On the Edge of Forever [3]
Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: F/F, One Shot Collection, Science Fiction, Simulacra, Soulmates, The Anomaly - Freeform, do not copy or repost anywhere without permission, on the edge of forever, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22675429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverTalesien/pseuds/RiverTalesien
Summary: Set during the three months Clarke was on her own, a short visit into her troubled inner life and a hint of things to come.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Series: On the Edge of Forever [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615417
Comments: 7
Kudos: 23





	The Oddity

She wasn’t sure if the voices were in her head or outside of it, only that they were torturous and if she could pull every hair from her head to make it stop, she would.

The only thought of her own that could cut through the cacophony, played on repeat:

_Why did you leave me? Why did you leave?_

On the Ark, she dreamed of the ground, of the kind of home she would make for herself: a little cabin, near water, with lots of windows for sunlight. One of those kitchens she saw in old magazines, with pantries full of brightly colored fresh vegetables and fruits. A small garden for food and flowers and a place for all her paintings. A dog, like the one in those movies, _Lassie Come Home_. A small, chubby-cheeked child with her eyes (her father’s eyes) and a constant smile. 

She had liked the idea of living alone, away from others (but not too far). Life on the Ark was crowded, with little privacy and her dreams didn’t include anyone she knew, not even Wells. She wanted a home, alone, but not lonely, with no echoing voices in it. 

Now she was on the ground and it wasn’t at all what she thought it would be, but she was alone, finally. There was a cabin near water, too, though it was hardly clean and bright and the small pond was a fetid eyesore. But there was some food, and there were two books (gifts from Lexa, before she abandoned them). 

They were children’s books.

Sometimes she looked at their covers and felt nothing but pure hatred. 

_How sophisticated could Lexa be, anyway? She reads children’s books on the battlefield. She’s a child. Why would she give her children’s books?_

_Through the Looking Glass._

A girl who fell into another world and found nothing but insanity. 

_The Golden Compass._

A girl who couldn’t be fooled.

_But you fooled me, didn’t you, Lexa? Maybe you should have given me one of those stories where the girl is betrayed and a kiss turns her into a monster?_

The butterflies that fluttered outside seemed to carry the voices on their wings and she wished for anything else: to wake up and still be on the Ark, Prisoner 319, calmly awaiting death; a medical trainee under her mother’s supervision; with Lexa, in her tent, the world outside vanished.

It was those moments, when she could have torn herself in two and burned the whole world down with all her useless rage, that reason returned, unwanted. As if her conscience needed more to justify its self-hatred. Always the same thing:

_You thought this was your story and you would be the hero of it. You thought you knew it all and you could solve anything. You had her eating out of the palm of your hand. She listened and she wanted you and that’s all that mattered. But for her people. Her people who had suffered for generations. Thousands lost. So many trapped inside for who knew how long, with no hope of rescue and she had the chance to free them and if she hadn’t done it…Anya would have. Anya would have made her. Anya, who lost warriors to their cleverness and completeness; we were so thorough. And maybe she’s dead now because her army wanted a war they never got. And maybe there never was a way out._

_Jaha thought an alliance would never work because they could never be convinced, that they were too primitive and savage. But we did convince them. I convinced Anya and we shot her in the back. And I lied and I lied and Lexa believed each one. She had no choice._

_Jaha said we don’t need redemption, that surviving is its own excuse. You don’t have to apologize or beg forgiveness. Monty said the Mountain men should have let themselves die rather than take lives so they could walk outside. I can’t quite believe either and yet all I want is an absolution._

The voices were louder tonight, some of them almost distinct; things she had heard many times before:

_“My spirit will choose more wisely than that.”_

_“Here, there are no laws. Here, we do whatever the hell we want whenever the hell we want.”_

_“The dead are gone, Clarke. The living are hungry.”_

_“I have to save them._

Something in the air shifts when she hears the clumsy footfalls; grounders like their ale and wandering off into the glowing forest. Sometimes they were seen again.

She had not mastered their language, but knew enough and she could translate the slow wits traipsing blithely through the dark. 

“Irine lost those babies when Azgeda attacked. I saw the Commander’s army rush from the mountain. We would have lost more if the messengers hadn’t got through.”

“They’ll be back. The Ice Queen wants the Commander’s head. And the Commander wants us to feed the Sky people.”

“Feed the Sky people what? The Ice Queen?”

Their drunken laughter grew fainter and fainter until all Clarke could hear was the dull thud of her own heartbeat in her ears.

^^^

“Hod up, Amos.”

The taller of the two drunks was listing toward a blue/green tree, trying to catch his breath. 

The hum from the oddity was overwhelming.

“You good, Si?”

The shorter one had straightened, concern for his partner etched on his pinched features. 

“Just makes me sick, when we’re this close.”

Amos reached a surprisingly steady out to his friend, rubbing his arm, gently.

“Just a little further and we’ll see them again, Si. You won’t feel bad then.”

The two men resumed their march toward the wall of bright light, in the heart of the forest. 

As they reached the oddity’s border, both stopped, looking and listening, expectant.

“Where are they?”

Before they could discuss any further, two figures emerged from the light. 

One was a tall woman with dark hair in a long white coat, holding a thin piece of tech in one hand. Beside her, a smaller man with rimless glasses and a similar coat punched thin fingers at his own tech pad.

“These two again. Do you want to reset or remove?”

The woman was frowning and nodded.

“This is the third time. Let’s remove. Standard clean slate and we’ll send them home.”

Amos and Si glanced at one another in confusion, both starting to back away, afraid.

“Who are you?”

The man in glasses activated a projection screen from his pad and made a swift adjustment, his fingers swiping through empty air. 

Amos and Si crumpled like puppets with their strings cut, unconscious.

**Author's Note:**

> These 1k one-shots are part of a series that builds into a bigger narrative, questioning reality, but always hinged by two unforgettable soulmates. 
> 
> If you like, don't like, have questions, pass them on here or hmu on Tumblr @rtalesien. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


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